Parental Alienation is a very difficult situation that can arise in divorce and custody disputes where one parent actively undermines or damages the other parent’s relationship with their child, often through manipulation or negativity. This can involve intentionally disparaging the other parent, restricting communication or visitation, or encouraging the child to dislike or fear (making false accusations) the other parent. The alienator’s goal is to destroy the child(ren)’s relationship with the other parent often by fostering resentment or fear. Parental alienation is seen as one of the most emotionally damaging things that a parent can do to the child. The other parent is extremely damaged by the alienation occurring, but the child is also severely emotionally harmed by the actions of the alienator. There are many levels and signs of parental alienation, each of which is important to be able to understand and locate in a divorce or custody proceeding.
Levels of Parental Alienation
There are different levels to the severity of parental alienation. These levels bring forward different signs and actions in children.
- Mild: The child(ren) will express resistance to visiting, communicating with, or spending time with the alienated parent. However, once they are alone with the alienated parent this resistance will quickly dissipate and the relationship will return to a positive one.
- Moderate: The child(ren) will express strong resistance to any contact or communication with the alienated parent. Once with the alienated parent that resistance will remain and the child(ren) will oppose being near them, spending time with them, and communicating with them.
- Severe: The child(ren) will express strong resistance, similar to moderate levels of alienation. However, when pushed to have contact with the alienated parent, the child(ren) will run away, hide, or physically resist any attempt to have such contact. This level of alienation often results in the child not engaging in parenting time with the alienated parent or acting out when with the alienated parent to sabotage or truncate the visit.
Signs of Parental Alienation
Parental alienation shows itself in children in many ways that differ case by case. These signs can be subtle or aggressive. Often they will build up, causing them to be even more difficult to resolve over time.
Unwavering Support of the Alienating Parent
Children being alienated will show unwavering support of the alienating parent. Everything the alienated parent does is “bad” and everything the alienating parent does is “good.” Additionally, when questioned on this support, an alienated child will deny any influence by the alienating parent and claim the feeling as all their own.
Adult/Uncharacteristic Language
Alienated children will often repeat the comments of the alienating parent. Because an alienated child does not fully understand why the alienated person is “bad” but just is told that they should feel that way, they will often grasp onto the words the alienating parent says and make them their own. If you notice the child(ren) saying words or phrases that are not usual for a young child or things that they should not know, this is a clear sign that the alienating parent is discussing these matters with them.
Fear of Having Fun with You
Children experiencing parental alienation will often feel scared to have fun with the alienated parent. If they are having a good time, they may even ask the alienated parent to not tell the alienator that they had a good time together.
No Guilt
Non-alienated children will feel bad when they say mean and hurtful things to their parents. However, an alienated child will feel justified in their harsh language towards their alienated parent.
Legal Remedies Available
The following section details some legal remedies that may be pursued.
Court Ordered Parenting Classes and Therapy
Many courts will assign parents to parenting classes that teach parents how to co-parent as well as techniques for healthy and productive parenting that encourages a positive relationship with the child(ren). In addition, if there are signs of parental alienation or trauma in the case, a court may order the parents and/or the child(ren) to attend reunification or family therapy to work on these issues.
Restraining Orders/Anti-Disparaging Orders
Courts can make orders that restrain parents from speaking poorly about one another publicly and in front of/to the child(ren). This allows a party to have a court order that they may enforce with a contempt motion if the other parent if found to be alienating the child(ren).
Guardian ad Litem or Parenting Coordinator
During a case, a court may appoint a Guardian ad Litem (“GAL”) or a Parenting Coordinator (“PC”). These individuals are court appointed licensed professionals that are third-party advocates for the children.
A GAL is appointed to review all aspects of the child(ren)’s lives including family, school, health, etc. They will interview every person relevant to the children and ultimately make a recommendation to the court as to what the parenting should look like on a case-by-case basis. As it pertains to parental alienation, a GAL is trained to notice the above-discussed signs and make findings of those in their recommendations.
A PC is similar to a GAL but will work with the parents to resolve disputes and implement positive parenting practices. PC’s are also trained in identifying parental alienation signs and will work to eliminate any negative influence that is occurring on the children.
Termination/Modification of Custody
In severe cases of parental alienation, a court may reassess a designation/allocation of parental rights and responsibilities. If the alienating parent is designated custody or significant parenting time, a court may modify this designation to restrict their parenting time or even terminate their custodial rights.
Conclusion
As stated, it is extremely important to stay knowledgeable on parental alienation and its signs so that you may raise these issues with the court. Domestic Relations and Juvenile courts take cases of parental alienation seriously and will not hesitate to take action when a child(ren) are being manipulated and/or abused into unwarranted resistance to a parent. These issues are often subtle and hard to catch, but if you know the signs, you will be able to spot them and take the proper legal actions to ensure that each parent is receiving fair and equitable treatment as it pertains to their parental rights and responsibilities.
For more information or to seek counsel from our Family Law group, please reach out to request a consultation or call us at 216-696-1422.
___
*This article was originally authored for publication in the Cleveland Metropolitan Bar Association’s Family Law Section of the Bar Journal. To view this article on the CMBA’s website, follow this link.
